One of the reasons many people are not enjoying their relationship is because they have too many high expectations for their spouse or partner. They have forgotten that they, themselves, have not been able to live up to their own high expectations, yet they want another person to live up to them.
There is a way they want their spouse to love, talk, dress, walk, drink, eat, cook, sing, pray, wash, sweep, and live life. There is nothing wrong with expecting the best from your spouse, however, if you are not watchful, you will get so attachment to those high expectations, and that can make you a victim of the negative emotions generated by your unfulfilled expectations.
Some of the negative emotions generated by unfulfilled expectations include fear, worry, anxiety, doubt, unbelief, discouragement, discontentment, anger, rage, revenge, hatred, envy, jealousy, grief, despair, depression, sadness, unhappiness, unforgiveness, impatience, frustration, desperation, disappointment, regret, blame, guilt, helplessness, powerlessness, pessimism, unworthiness, etc.
You cannot enjoy your relationship when your heart is choked by all these negative emotions. Help yourself by preparing your heart to enjoy the way things unfold in your relationship. Detach yourself from your expectations. Detach yourself from the good things that happened yesterday that you wish to experience today, and enjoy what your relationship is offering.
The things your relationship cannot offer today, it could offer them tomorrow. Relationships are not meant for immediate benefits alone. They are meant for long-term benefits. Not every relationship can offer you immediate benefits. Thus, if you receive any immediate benefit, enjoy it and remember that is not all. If you don’t receive any immediate benefit, be patient, something big is on the way.
Many people have lost several great opportunities and gains from their relationships because they allowed immediate benefits to determine the fate of their relationships. Don’t destroy your relationships because of immediate benefits. What is ahead could be far bigger and greater than what you are already experiencing. Enjoy the gentle flow of your relationship.
Don’t allow your high expectations to rob you of the joyful moments of your relationship. Have you ever noticed that no matter how beautiful God has created some people, they still tend to have something to complain about? Some of us want to be taller. Some of us want a lighter complexion. Some want a different facial look. Some want a different size of lips. Some want a different kind of nose. Some want smaller or bigger butts or boobs. Some want a different gender, etc.
That is man for you. Even God has not met their expectations. Now, if God could not meet our human expectations, do you think your spouse, who is another human being like you, can ever meet your expectations? We need to wake up and face reality. Nobody can live up to our expectations! Our spouse is no exception. This is not an advocacy for weaknesses; it is just a simple reminder of our weaknesses.
Don’t put on that mindset that your spouse owes you that special good treatment you are expecting. Indeed, you deserve that special good treatment but allow it to flow naturally. If she cooks very well today, be thankful and enjoy it. If she keeps the house neat today, be thankful and enjoy it. If she washes and irons for you today, be thankful and enjoy it. If she supports you today, be thankful and enjoy it. When you did not see any of those things from her, tell yourself that better days are ahead, and indeed, better days are ahead.
The same applies to the women. If he supports you to do the house chores today, be thankful and enjoy it. If he provides for the house and even for your people today, be thankful and enjoy it. If he buys you gifts today, be thankful and enjoy it. If he takes you out today for dinner or any other merriment today, my dear be thankful and enjoy it. When you do not see any of those things from him, tell yourself that better days are ahead.
That man or woman seemingly smiling at you might be dealing with several issues in his or her heart. He or she sometimes forgets the good things he or she wishes to do for himself or herself, let alone another person. Thus, whenever, he or she remembers and does anything nice for you, be reasonable enough to be grateful and enjoy it.
We are not trying to tell you to expect negative things from your spouse. We are only telling you to enjoy things the way they unfold. We are not also saying you should not correct your spouse. We are only saying you should enjoy the ride of your relationship without being too attached to your high expectations.
When you build your expectations based on the experiences of yesterday, or on the experiences of other people; you are setting up yourself for a big unpleasant surprise in the nearest future. Appreciate and enjoy the little good your relationship delivers into your hands at every moment of your journey.
Don’t allow your high expectations to rob you of those big celebrations of today’s little victories. You will only end up frustrating yourself and making yourself unhappy regularly. Enjoy the way things unfold in your relationship with your spouse.
It is normal to expect that food should be ready when you return from work, but if you return and there is no food, you don’t have to make a war out of your expectation. Rather, look for a way to turn the cooking process into another memorable time of fun with your spouse.
Don’t allow your high expectations to stir up unnecessary strife in your home. Avoid unnecessary drama and prepare your mind to enjoy the way things unfold every moment of the day. The moment is what you have at the moment, so enjoy the moment in your relationship.