One of the reasons why we have problems in our relationship with our partner is because we expect them to treat us the way we treat them. As our expectation continues to grow, we become very demanding, possessive, selfish, over protective, critical, and full of complains. These attitudes eventually become very unhealthy for the relationship.
Human beings love freedom. Giving your partner freedom is something you must do as one of the expressions of your love towards him or her. If you take away that freedom, they will eventually become very uncomfortable. They may bear it at first, but they cannot bear it for too long. If you continue, they will resist and break free from your hands.
You must remember that your spouse is not you and he or she can never become you in thoughts and actions. You are two different personalities with different background, education, understanding, knowledge, exposure, temperament, etc. Thus, all the efforts made to make him or her do things exactly the way you do things or want things done will surely end in a catastrophic failure.
There is no doubt that it could be very frustrating when we give our loved ones so much care and attention and receive less from them. It could be very painful when we make great sacrifices for them and they do nothing when the same is expected or required from them. It could be so hurting when we do our best to put smiles on their faces and they take our efforts for granted and do nothing when we expect the same from them. Nevertheless, we must make up our minds to give them the privilege of expressing their love in their own way.
If the situation becomes too unbearable, the best way to confront such a challenge is to talk over the issue with them. Do not make it as a demand. Wisely talk to them when they are in their best moods and make them understand that those little things mean a lot to you. If you can tactically convince them, and remind them continually, they will change.
Some may not change immediately. You have to be patient with such people and keep reminding them until it becomes a part of them. Do not expect an immediate complete change. Be patient and keep reminding him or her. When the seeds you have planted grow up and bear the desired good fruits, then you can smile, relax and reap the harvest happily.
However, some may not change at all. If you fall into this category, please, do not allow yourself to get so worked up that you become unhappy in your relationship. Remember, there are other things your spouse is very good at doing. There are areas of life they do far better than you do. Fix your eyes on those areas and be grateful and appreciative.
Some of you may fall into the category of those who are willing to change. Kudos! However, you must still put at the back of your mind that your spouse may not do it as good as you do those things. If they are not very good at it, recognize their efforts and commend them. As you appreciate them, they will put more efforts to improve. Some of them may even get better at it and do better than you do. If that becomes your experience, you are lucky.
The relationship you have with your partner is made complete by your differences. Both of you should look at those differences and harness them for your good. It is a teamwork. It is not a competitive one. Offer your part generously to your spouse and allow him or her to enjoy it to the full, without expecting the same in return. Remember, as you keep doing your part, your partner may reciprocate someday. Even if he or she does not reciprocate in the same area you are expecting, he or she may reciprocate in other areas of life that they are very good at.
If this blesses you, feel free to share it.